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  • Writer's pictureMilou

Change Is Possible - My Personal Change Diary

What you are about to read is not so much of an article but rather my personal change diary on my journey from being a lazy, moody and unfit party lover to becoming a passionate Health Coach.

Get inspired and go and inspire others.

10:30 Juli 2018: I am still in bed, probably still a little drunk from last night. I might be somewhat nauseous but nothing a good breakfast can´t cure. I go on Uber Eats to see where I can get some eggs Benedict. Slugging to the door I thank a stranger for bringing me a bacon and white bread packed stinky and fatty meal, the origin of which I know nothing about. I go back to bed, put on some Netflix and eat. Meanwhile my roommate passes by and says “see you later” on the way to the gym. In my mind I say “she´s crazy”.

A few episodes and a couple snacks later, I finally get up to shower. A friend called me to go for lunch and some day drinking on a sunny weekend day. I get into my car to drive what could´ve been a 15 minute walk.

Burger and beers for lunch, I am still feeling tired, unsure whether it´s the hungover or my constant state of exhaustion and moodiness. A viscous cycle noone but myself can help me out of.

My friends knew me as a fun and exciting person that´s always up for some kind of adventure, as long as it did not involve too much moving and preferably food, but they also knew me as someone moody, someone that liked to sleep in whenever she could.

My colleagues knew me as someone that always had her bag filled with snacks. Chips, chocolates, bars, meat sticks; I didn´t leave anything out.

And me? What did I know myself to be? I guess, I´ve always appreciated myself for my talent and creativity, and for being a good companion on good days.

But I also knew myself as being unmotivated, unambitious, lazy, moody and a little destructive. Parties, boys and heavy foods, that´s what would made my day.

From my current perspective I can barely say what I used to think of me then, all I know now is that me today would not be friends with me then. I would rather avoid her.


11:15 April 2020: The lockdown in South Africa has been going on for just a couple of weeks and I am going crazy. Not allowed to leave the house, I barely even leave my room. Instead of using the office that is next to my bedroom, I´m working from bed, watching Netflix on my other device, just waiting for the next food order to come. “When was the last time I breathed in fresh air?”

08:30 A couple days later in April 2020: I´ve decided that this cannot go on. Trying to live the days with more structure, I had set an alarm for the morning and I actually get up. I go upstairs and unfold a yoga mat. My roommate´s, I obviously do not have on, I am not even sure if i´ve practiced yoga before. I login on my new Alo Moves account and start my 21 days Yoga Sweat Series with Briohny Smyth.

About a week later in April 2020: This yoga practice has been great. I get up at 7 every day now, meet Bri for Yoga and get to know other Yogis and Fitness Coaches on Alo. After 2 hours of moving and sweating, I go downstairs and make my eggs Benedict by myself.

Mai 2020: I am noticing how I am getting stronger and more attuned with myself. I stay consistent with this 2h morning routine, which gives me structure in my day. Same place, same time, every morning, me and myself. However I´ve come to the realization that what I am eating, might not be beneficial. I have been eating salads and cooked one or the other healthy meal but this sugar and this fast food is not helping me with where I wanna go. I choose to make a change and buy fresher goods. No more ordering, just cooking at home. And since I am cooking anyways, I can as well just cook healthily.

24 July 2020: We´re allowed to leave the house, Yay! I´ve been busy doing and practicing yoga and strength but that doesn´t really get my heart rate up. I grab my gym shoes that I had bought a couple years ago to visit the gym a handful of times and I go for a run. I break down after 2.58 km in 19:36 minutes and my roommate comes to pick me up. Major fail. Also, do not run in your gym shoes, get yourself some proper running shoes.

08 October 2020: 6km in 31:43. I go out to break my record every time. I am feeling stronger and clearer in my head. So many things make more sense. One thing after the other. My personal recipe book of healthy meals is expanding, I am barely eating meat anymore and for the first time in my life my body is saying thank you for what I am doing to it.

November 2020: I decide I want to learn more and find new purpose. I am extremely unhappy in my job but i´ve also never thought about doing anything else on the side. Since I am new to working out and there is a lot to know and find out, I decide i´ll take up a Personal Trainer course.

April 2021: It is getting colder in South Africa, so my Muay Thai trainer, that a friend introduced me to, is suggesting I sign up at the gym so we can train inside, rather than at the park. Training with him has been giving me confidence and determination, a new endeavor. Something new to learn. At first, I only go to the gym when I train with him – I thought I was allergic to gyms – but soon I realize that there´s a nice atmosphere and quite a lot of things to discover.

08 September 2021: My first 10km in exactly 1 hour. I am above the moon. I had taken running to the mountains to connect more with nature and myself but today I went for a road run, since it was dark already. I was first tired after 4km but when I reached 8km, I realized how my mind wanted more and my body went with it. We felt like one, in agreeance that we are unstoppable and invincible.

November 2021: Most the trainers at the gym know me by name. I go every day and I don´t know where to go with all this energy and positivity. Since we are going back to the office I wake up at 5every day to spend 2 hours at the gym, then go to work and study for my course afterwards. I still meet up with my friends often to go out for a dance or dinner but I have found more clarity about who I want to be and what things matter in life.

24 May 2022: I am officially a Personal Trainer and I have gained so much valuable knowledge about how this body of mine works and how to make it even better. In the midst of good food and a vegan diet I had taken up a Nutrition Advisor Course straight afterwards, which I also completed while preparing my final exam for the Personal Trainer Certificate.

July 2022: I feel so whole. I feel confident, I feel strong, I feel appreciated, most importantly by me but also by the people around me. I feel inspired and inspiring, enriched and motivated, I have dreams about the future and the energy to achieve them. I am setting boundaries, choosing only to engage in relationships that nourish me and those, in which I can nourish the other. I don´t drink alcohol - just water and juice, no artificial sugars - just naturals, no unhealthy fats from processed foods - just from whole foods. Don´t get me wrong though. I am not a saint and I have a sweet tongue. The occasional cake and other treats are still part of my diet. I do however choose the vegan ones sweetened with dates, knowing that there´s a healthy alternative for everything.

Every day I learn and I ask myself “How could I have been so grateful to wake up and find consciousness?”

November 2022: Teaching Yoga on rooftops, hard workouts at the gym and provoking thoughts through meaningful small conversations wherever I go, I have found me by finding health.

October 2022: Bali. In between juicy runs, mindfulness meditations and soul feeding yoga practices, I find so much more purpose every day. I have learned to build such strong routines but also find flexibility in them. Making my health one of my top priorities in life. I have made clear decisions about my career path and i´m studying for my last course to realize it. The Holistic Health Coaching Course.

January 2023: I am in love with this life and life loves me too. I am thankful for my reputation and it precedes me. Dedicated, disciplined, present, conscious, happy!, independent, “a machine”. I am delighted by how many beautiful humans I draw into my life and by how many express that I am an inspiration for them and they feel empowered by me.

July 2023: The birth of M.POWEREDHEALTH. My space to empower and inspire those that find themselves anywhere between myself at the beginning and middle of this diary. To educate and show paths to those that don´t know where they´re going yet. My passion project that rose from this extreme journey of mine. Traveling through Europe meeting friends and family that barely recognize the person I have become.

November 2023: Reading through this I feel gratitude. Gratitude for the opportunity to turn my life around and catch me where I was falling. Gratitude for the determination that came with every step I took. Gratitude for my health and strength. And I feel sore, sore from breaking a record for a fitness challenge at the Bali Training Center. Who would have thought? “Milou breaking fitness records”. Not my friends that tried to get me out of bed at 11:00 to at least go for a walk a few years back.

I wrote this change diary to show you that there´s a beginning to everything. That change is possible. You start with one small step at the time and you´ll find yourself on a journey where you might not even recognize yourself anymore.

And once more; Get inspired and go and inspire others.

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