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  • Writer's pictureMilou

5 Ways to Facilitate Being in Solitude

Many often confuse the notion of being alone with feeling alone, presuming that an evening spent solo equates to comfort in solitude. Yet, the concept of being alone transcends mere physical presence; it encompasses mental and emotional states.

Embracing one's solitude forms the bedrock of a healthy existence. It's a time for introspection, an unfiltered communion with our genuine selves. It's about welcoming all thoughts without judgment or external pressures. It's a phase for attuning to our bodies, delving into our physical, mental, and emotional realms.

This is the time to befriend yourself, get to know yourself better and learn to love yourself.


If you find this challenging, question why. Is it the unease of being alone?

Because being alone evokes tranquility, fostering gratitude and deeper self-awareness. A time for self-improvement and authenticity. Feeling alone, on the other hand, breeds loneliness and sorrow, even in bustling company.


Some advocate remedies for loneliness, like engaging with others, creating noise or acquiring pets. These tactics may work momentarily but fail to address the root. They stem from an incapacity to embrace solitude, a skill that often requires practice and introspection.


The following are some ideas to facilitate being in solitude and open up a practice of doing so:


Start small: Begin by dedicating short intervals to solitary activities, maybe just a few minutes at a time, in a familiar and comfortable setting. It could involve sitting quietly with oneself, engaging in a preferred hobby, or merely being present in the moment without external distractions. For instance, you might start by spending five to ten minutes alone, perhaps reading a book, practicing deep breathing exercises, or enjoying a peaceful moment in nature. The key is to select activities or durations that feel manageable and non-threatening to you, fostering a sense of ease and relaxation rather than apprehension.


Set intentions: Setting intentions when you're alone involves defining a clear purpose for your solitary time. Think about what you want to achieve during this period: is it self-reflection, relaxation, creativity, or something else? This intention guides your focus, making your alone time more purposeful and aligned with what you hope to gain from it. Whether it's seeking inner peace or sparking creativity, setting intentions adds meaning to your solo moments, making them more fulfilling and rewarding.


Practice mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness during alone time is like a mental anchor, helping you stay present and calm. It involves focusing on the present moment without judging your thoughts or feelings. Techniques such as deep breathing or body scans can ground you in the moment, reducing any discomfort about being alone. By embracing mindfulness, you can turn solitary moments into a time for self-awareness and tranquility.


Find joy in activities: Engaging in activities that bring joy or relaxation can transform alone time into a more enjoyable experience. It's about choosing activities during solitude that resonate with your interests or provide a sense of fulfillment. These activities could range from pursuing hobbies like reading, painting, or making music to enjoying a peaceful walk in nature. By selecting endeavors that bring you happiness or relaxation, you infuse your solitary moments with positivity and contentment.

Physical activities during solitary moments, such as yoga, running, or other exercises, offer a powerful connection between your body and mind, allowing you to tune into your physical sensations, promoting a deeper understanding of yourself and fostering a harmonious relationship between your body and thoughts.

Embracing such activities during alone time not only diverts your attention from any discomfort but also contributes to a more fulfilling and rewarding experience. It's a way of making the most out of solitude by doing things that truly resonate with you and bring a sense of joy and peace.


Practice self-compassion: In moments of solitude, practicing self-compassion becomes pivotal. When feelings of loneliness surface, acknowledge the emotions without self-criticism. Similarly, facing internal struggles or handling negative self-talk necessitates responding with self-kindness. Embracing self-compassion during these moments fosters a gentle and supportive environment within, allowing for a more nurturing experience of being alone.


Take note of your emotions during moments of solitude, whether positive or negative. Feeling bored or thoughtless? That's acceptable and, at times, advantageous. It´s an opportunity to connect with your body, to breathe and move freely.


Mastering the art of being with oneself, or dating yourself, listening to your inner thoughts amidst silence, is crucial. Relationships should be a conscious choice, not an escape from loneliness. Before seeking companionship, cultivate happiness and fulfillment within. Relying on others for contentment may foster codependency.


In essence, solitude isn't a negative experience. It's an avenue for reflection, self-discovery, and growth, a space for honing self-awareness and crafting life desires.

If struggling with solitude, go deeper. Is it a sense of desolation or an inability to embrace solitude? If the latter, it's a skill—developable through practice and introspection.


Embrace solitude, a natural facet of life, as it holds potential for growth and productivity. Dedicate time for yourself, power off distractions and embrace the moment fully.

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